Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 2:52 am Post subject: Calamari Stand Of Love Contest
Ok...I have a question. I'm entering greenfiend03 and gilmoregirls28's contest(those are their youtube usernames) for FF. I'm not sure whether to leave what I wrote as a one-shot,add a little bit more, or continue on with my multi-chapter idea. Help?
Chapter 1
“EW! EW! EEEEEWWWWWWW!” I screeched doing a little dance to show my disgust. How in the world did I end up in this predicament? Was some kind of force of nature bigger than myself punishing me for something? If so, what?! I was a fairly good girl. I did my homework, aced tests, and kept out of trouble. But I must have done something to deserve this. Then again, this was partially my fault too. But still, what possessed me to do this? Whatever it was I had no idea.
I mean I knew Derek was persuasive but never did I imagine he’d be this persuasive. I mean what smart person, who I was, would ever agree to this? Ugh. I wish I just applied at Smelly Nelly’s like I planned. But of course not. Once again, Derek had to go and ruin everything again. I gulped and looked over my shoulder.
Standing at the cash register was Derek. He was staring at me with the biggest smirk in the world. He winked at me and I turned back around to the frightening and sickening image in front of me. I closed my eyes and willed them to go away but that did me no good. It only prolonged the agony of which was squid. I took a deep breath which was a mistake because I inhaled the entire stench that was calamari. For those people who are confused as to what calamari is, it’s a fancy word for squid. I started a coughing fit and someone patted a hand on my back. I turned around to see Ralph.
“Hey Ralph,” I said slumping a bit. He smiled at me and put a hand on my shoulder.
“Hey Case. Is this a rockin job or what?!” he said enthusiastically. That was Ralph for you. He could take any bad situation and turn it all around. Yeah, I’m talking a full 360 for ya. But nothing was going to brighten my day about this.
“Oh yeah. Getting paid two dollars an hour to work with squid. Real fun there Ralph,” I said sarcastically giving him a pat on the shoulder as if we were best buddies. His smile turned into a far off, confused expression. That was also Ralph. You had him one second and then lost him the next. Once you knew him long enough you kind of got used to it. I sure did.
“What are you talking about Casey? We’re getting paid seven fifty for this. Hello, minimum wage?” he laughed before walking off shaking his head. Oh. My. God. No way! No way was this happening! I tore off my apron and stomped my way over to the stand itself and placed my hands on my hips. Eventually Derek turned around and raised an eyebrow at me; a trick he learned two days ago. Perfect timing huh?
“Casey, what brings you over here? Shouldn’t you be doing your job?” he asked smugly. I stopped myself from jumping him on the spot. Oh how big the urge was! I gritted my teeth together and narrowed my eyes as much as I could without preventing myself from seeing the target.
“Oh I don’t know…how about the fact I’m only being paid two dollars when the minimum wage is seven fifty which is what Ralph is being paid!” I said just under shouting at him. He was really pushing my buttons. He chuckled a bit but soon regained his composure.
“Casey, can you read?” I nodded. “Can you read the sign up there?” I nodded again. “What does it say?”
“You know darn well what it says,” I replied crossing my arms and turning my head for a second. He rolled his eyes but continued anyway.
“Well of course, but I want to hear you say it,” he smirked. I huffed and stared down at my shoes. Suddenly, they were the most interesting things in the world.
“Derek’s Calamari Stand,” I muttered under my breath. He leaned in closer and let out an “eh?” “Derek’s Calamari Stand,” I said a little bit louder. He leaned in closer and cupped his hand around his ear. “DEREK’S CALAMARI STAND!”
He jumped back and everyone sitting at the booth of the stand also jumped. I believe one guy actually fell off his chair but that was beside the point. The point was that Derek was being a cruel, insensitive, jerk…but everyone already knew that. I apparently didn’t realize the size of my own voice because before I knew it Derek was headfirst into a pile of mayonnaise. My mouth dropped and I had to stifle a giggle. Sadly, it didn’t work and Derek glared at me. Although it was hard to be scared by him with all the gunk on his face. I couldn’t hold any of it in any longer and I burst into a hysterical laughter.
“You think this is funny do ya?” he asked stepping forward a bit. I giggled and nodded my head. “Well tell me Case, does this tickle your sides?” Before I knew it, a whole thing of guacamole was shoved in my face. I gasped and wiped the gunk out of my eyes. I spent a half an hour doing my hair this morning and now it was ruined! I took the bowl of mustard and dumped it on his head. He grabbed the hose and that’s when I started to back up.
“Derek, put the hose down,” I said with my hands held up in proper surrender fashion.
“Make me.”
The next thing I knew, ice cold water was being sprayed at me. I screamed the girliest scream I could muster and ran out of the stand. Little did I know the hose extended a long way. So Derek chased me and was still spraying me. Well, as I was running, being the klutz that I was (they didn’t call people Klutzilla without a reason); I slipped and fell into the big box of calamari. I heard the faint sound of Derek laughing and it only made the situation worse. I lifted my head from the disgusting undersea creatures and looked around to see almost everyone laughing at me. The only one who wasn’t was Ralph. He was just staring at this coin in complete oblivion. I felt a flavor of salt water in my mouth and I immediately realized what it was: calamari. I quickly stood up and spit out the squid as I did my little disgusted dance again. This caused more laughter to erupt from the now formed audience around me.
I stopped my little dance and glanced at Derek. He was standing there laughing with the rest of them. I sighed, shook out some of the squid from my hair, grabbed my bags, and left for home. Stupid Derek and his stupid calamari stand.
XOX
“Hey honey,” mom said as I walked through the door. I slammed the door shut and dropped my bags under the coats on the coat hooks. When I looked back at her she had a cringed expression. “Why are you soaking wet and smell like…calamari?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
_________________ Underneath all of my names...I'm still one person: Julie
DEFINITELY continue. This was a very good start. I loved it when Derek was like "What does the sign say?" lol. Pure Derek right there. I hope you continue, because i'm really interested in this! _________________
Well, since I love writing this I will for sure make it a multi-chapter reguardless. But since the contest ends the 15th should I leave it as a one shot or add a tincy wincy bit for it? Multi-chapter in a couple of days is something I doubt I could do. And thanks for the input! And for liking it! _________________ Underneath all of my names...I'm still one person: Julie
I really like it, but if you wanted to win you should probably end it as a one shot. If you do win (Which you will, hehe), request a nice dasey vid for us people at DN won't ya? _________________ "... I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing."
I really like it, but if you wanted to win you should probably end it as a one shot. If you do win (Which you will, hehe), request a nice dasey vid for us people at DN won't ya?
Haha. Thanks. So leave it as is? I will enter it today...with possible minor changes. But if I do win,which I probably won't cause there are tons of amazing writers, I will definitely request a video for good old DN....my second home. lol _________________ Underneath all of my names...I'm still one person: Julie
I posted it on FF but have gotten terrible feedback on this...so I'm changing it. But first, I have a question. Does anyone see the dasey in this? Because one review said there was NO romance. I know they didn't kiss but does that mean there's no daseyness to it? Whatever, I'm re-doing it. I just thought I'd ask.
*sulks off to go re-write it* _________________ Underneath all of my names...I'm still one person: Julie
Ok. I re-wrote the ending...hehe. I'm totally spamming this topic with messages it feels like...anyways. Here's the new ending to make it more dasey:
Chapter 1
“EW! EW! EEEEEWWWWWWW!” I screeched doing a little dance to show my disgust. How in the world did I end up in this predicament? Was some kind of force of nature bigger than myself punishing me for something? If so, what?! I was a fairly good girl. I did my homework, aced tests, and kept out of trouble. But I must have done something to deserve this. Then again, this was partially my fault too. But still, what possessed me to do this? Whatever it was I had no idea.
I mean I knew Derek was persuasive but never did I imagine he’d be this persuasive. I mean what smart person, who I was, would ever agree to this? Ugh. I wish I just applied at Smelly Nelly’s like I planned. But of course not. Once again, Derek had to go and ruin everything again. I gulped and looked over my shoulder.
Standing at the cash register was Derek. He was staring at me with the biggest smirk in the world. He winked at me and I turned back around to the frightening and sickening image in front of me. I closed my eyes and willed them to go away but that did me no good. It only prolonged the agony of which was squid. I took a deep breath which was a mistake because I inhaled the entire stench that was calamari. For those people who are confused as to what calamari is, it’s a fancy word for squid. I started a coughing fit and someone patted a hand on my back. I turned around to see Ralph.
“Hey Ralph,” I said slumping a bit. He smiled at me and put a hand on my shoulder.
“Hey Case. Is this a rockin job or what?!” he said enthusiastically. That was Ralph for you. He could take any bad situation and turn it all around. Yeah, I’m talking a full 360 for ya. But nothing was going to brighten my day about this.
“Oh yeah. Getting paid two dollars an hour to work with squid. Real fun there Ralph,” I said sarcastically giving him a pat on the shoulder as if we were best buddies. His smile turned into a far off, confused expression. That was also Ralph. You had him one second and then lost him the next. Once you knew him long enough you kind of got used to it. I sure did.
“What are you talking about Casey? We’re getting paid seven fifty for this. Hello, minimum wage?” he laughed before walking off shaking his head. Oh. My. God. No way! No way was this happening! I tore off my apron and stomped my way over to the stand itself and placed my hands on my hips. Eventually Derek turned around and raised an eyebrow at me; a trick he learned two days ago. Perfect timing huh?
“Casey, what brings you over here? Shouldn’t you be doing your job?” he asked smugly. I stopped myself from jumping him on the spot. Oh how big the urge was! I gritted my teeth together and narrowed my eyes as much as I could without preventing myself from seeing the target.
“Oh I don’t know…how about the fact I’m only being paid two dollars when the minimum wage is seven fifty which is what Ralph is being paid!” I said just under shouting at him. He was really pushing my buttons. He chuckled a bit but soon regained his composure.
“Casey, can you read?” I nodded. “Can you read the sign up there?” I nodded again. “What does it say?”
“You know darn well what it says,” I replied crossing my arms and turning my head for a second. He rolled his eyes but continued anyway.
“Well of course, but I want to hear you say it,” he smirked. I huffed and stared down at my shoes. Suddenly, they were the most interesting things in the world.
“Derek’s Calamari Stand,” I muttered under my breath. He leaned in closer and let out an “eh?” “Derek’s Calamari Stand,” I said a little bit louder. He leaned in closer and cupped his hand around his ear. “DEREK’S CALAMARI STAND!”
He jumped back and everyone sitting at the booth of the stand also jumped. I believe one guy actually fell off his chair but that was beside the point. The point was that Derek was being a cruel, insensitive, jerk…but everyone already knew that. I apparently didn’t realize the size of my own voice because before I knew it Derek was headfirst into a pile of mayonnaise. My mouth dropped and I had to stifle a giggle. Sadly, it didn’t work and Derek glared at me. Although it was hard to be scared by him with all the gunk on his face. I couldn’t hold any of it in any longer and I burst into a hysterical laughter.
“You think this is funny do ya?” he asked stepping forward a bit. I giggled and nodded my head. “Well tell me Case, does this tickle your sides?” Before I knew it, a whole thing of guacamole was shoved in my face. I gasped and wiped the gunk out of my eyes. I spent a half an hour doing my hair this morning and now it was ruined! I took the bowl of mustard and dumped it on his head. He grabbed the hose and that’s when I started to back up.
“Derek, put the hose down,” I said with my hands held up in proper surrender fashion.
“Make me.”
The next thing I knew, ice cold water was being sprayed at me. I screamed the girliest scream I could muster and ran out of the stand. Little did I know the hose extended a long way. So Derek chased me and was still spraying me. Well, as I was running, being the klutz that I was (they didn’t call people Klutzilla without a reason); I slipped and fell into the big box of calamari. I heard the faint sound of Derek laughing and it only made the situation worse. I lifted my head from the disgusting undersea creatures and looked around to see almost everyone laughing at me. The only one who wasn’t was Ralph. He was just staring at this coin in complete oblivion. I felt a flavor of salt water in my mouth and I immediately realized what it was: calamari. I quickly stood up and spit out the squid as I did my little disgusted dance again. This caused more laughter to erupt from the now formed audience around me.
I glanced around and started to walk away.
“I quit!” I shouted. I was halfway to my car when I felt a hand grab me. I whirled around and nearly jumped when I saw it was Derek. “Are you happy?”
“No.”
“What more do you want? Want to pour some salsa on me too?”
Out of nowhere, his lips were on mine. That was something I totally wasn’t expecting. I also wasn’t expecting it to feel so good. His hands planted themselves on my waist and my arms snaked around his neck. Suddenly, I pulled away from him.
“Ew, you taste like mayonnaise.”
“You taste like Calamari,” he said with a hint of disgust.
“What an odd pairing?” I giggled.
“I’ll second that one!” someone shouted behind us. We turned around to see Ralph clapping his hands. I rolled my eyes and turned Derek’s face towards mine. And we continued to kiss, me completely drenched and him covered in mayonnaise. _________________ Underneath all of my names...I'm still one person: Julie
Haha. Thanks! I like that part too. I just feel a little bad. I made it seem like I was mad at the person who said there was no romance but we were both just kind of having not good days....
But anyways, glad you like both of them! _________________ Underneath all of my names...I'm still one person: Julie
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