DIY COW Clue-Writing Contests

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Muchas grassy arse to Boxwood for favouring my clue for the pink horror.

No, I haven't cocked up the numbering - I did that when I duplicated 23 so we are now onto 28.

Immediately before dropping in to CIB I was listening to a song called Buttons by the brilliant but clearly unhinged Sia, so your smutty challenge for this week is:

BUTTONS

G'luck.

[7dNigePun]

Withdraws half of cock from arse and inserts tip of nob for a bit of money

BUTTO[-CK]S with N shoved in

A bit of money as in "working for buttons"

I recommend you look here to see Sia singing Buttons in one of the oddest videos ever

or here for a live version, which is also odd, but enchanting

[Boaz]

Tickle no butts or clitorises (7)

NOBUTTS*

[AngryVocab]

Clits and arse son screwed (7)

BUTT + (SON)*

[foggyweb]

Bucket of mucus poured over knobs (7)

SNOT TUB reversed

[Boaz]

Pins angry tot in arse cheeks (7)

TOT* in BUNS

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[foggyweb]

Pantomime character starts to blow up Twankey's tits, operating nipple straws! (7)

[boxwood]

Switches race to come inside bosun's crack (7)

(race= TT) inside BOSUN*

[Boaz]

Catches Sir Len with The Hoff covered in bullshit (7)

Hutton with the H off = Utton in BS ('that's total BS'). Buttons = Catches

There should be a law that if you manage to sneak The Hoff into a clue, you automatically win :lol: .

[AngryVocab]

What men tickle when hoping to get lucky? (7)

[penfold_61]

Scores on the doors then:

7dNigePun:

Withdraws half of cock from arse and inserts tip of nob for a bit of money

A pleasing image but feels a bit like "filthy clueing by numbers."


Boaz

Tickle no butts or clitorises (7)

Not sure about tickle as an anagrind and "tickle no butts" is a bit clumsy.

Catches Sir Len with The Hoff covered in bullshit (7)

I can't decide if "The Hoff" is genius or quibble city. I like catches too. Nice, but not nice enough. And as for the comment "There should be a law that if you manage to sneak The Hoff into a clue, you automatically win", I'd venture that there should be a similar rule covering piss flaps, but there isn't so that's tough on us both.


AngryVocab:

Clits and arse son screwed (7)

Good use of smutty language but can you screw a clit?

On a side note I expected more use of butt for arse, something along the lines of:
American's arse working, initially shitting chocolate drops

What men tickle when hoping to get lucky? (7)

Er, is this a CD? Sorry Angry, I don't get it.


Foggyweb:

Bucket of mucus poured over knobs (7)

I liked this one a lot. Clever construction, pleasing overall image and raised a smile. Very nearly the winner.


Pantomime character starts to blow up Twankey's tits, operating nipple straws! (7)

Another near-winner. Brilliant surface with the panto theme maintained, made me laugh, but just falls short on using an easy form of construction.


boxwood

Switches race to come inside bosun's crack (7)

Nice and smutty, clever confusion with switches working as noun and verb but surface is unconvincing.


So onto the winner,
Boaz with:

Pins angry tot in arse cheeks (7)

Maybe a surprise choice but I just loved the image of an annoying child being restrained in somebody's massive crack. Arse cheeks is a nice phrase too, one I occasionally use as a mild expletive. As with switches and catches there's clever verb/noun subterfuge for the definition. The whole clue reminded me of this cartoon:

Lost dog


Well played Boaz. The bollock's in your court.

[penfold_61]

Test.

For some reason the main index doesn't indicate that the post above exists.

Arse.