DIY COW Clue-Writing Contests

[anax]

If the clues could never appear in a quality daily, there’s no reason to stick to Times-style answers, so we’ll start with a contemporary fictitious name. Your first challenge is to write a clue for:

AUSTIN POWERS

Go for it!
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Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

[penfold_61]

To quote Mr Sparks from Noddy: A challenge! I like it!

A starter for 10:

Famous spy to ravage wet pussy on air without showing hairy bottom (6,6)

[penfold_61]

English agent and American prisoner concealing metal in arse, strangely.

[anax]

Seeing as your two rapid-fire clues are so bloody good (how do you do it?) I feel less guilty about posting my offering - think I've been beaten anyway:

Agent filmed shagging wet Russian outside post office (6,6)
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Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

[penfold_61]

Spy organises out-and-out penis wars

[penfold_61]

[glheard]

This leads to some (maybe intentionally) juicy anagrams.

Hollywood film with two sequels to run ass-wipe out. (6,6)

Man, that's ugly.
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That's the way the ginger snaps.

[7dNigePun]

Spy prostitute was in disarray with her tit out (6,6)

[penfold_61]

I couldn't come up with a way of making this any ruder. hey-ho.

Sue and Ann stripped having been captivated by extraordinary prowess at I-spy (6,6)

[anax]

[anax]

Penfold_61
Famous spy to ravage wet pussy on air without showing hairy bottom (6)
WET PUSSY ON AIR* minus Y (hairy bottom).
Hysterically funny imagery achieved by using a very clever anagram. There is a question mark over whether “hairy bottom” restricts this to a down clue – maybe not; something being at the bottom of the pile can simply mean it is the least desirable, the last that would be chosen.

Glheard
Hollywood film with two sequels to run ass-wipe out (6,6)
TO RUN ASS-WIPE*.
What’s really clever about this is the deliberately extended definition and the way it creates the idea of several instalments of a film being needed to finally see the elimination of the bad guy. Well-thought-out clueing.

7dNigePun
Spy prostitute was in disarray with her tit out (6,6)
PROSTITUTE WAS IN* minus TIT
Yet another example of great imagery and a clever observed anagram. Unfortunately it breaks the double-duty rule, “in” being part of the fodder and the “in disarray” anagrind (“disarray” on its own wouldn’t pass muster).

All in all three highly amusing clues, which is what we’re after (rather than getting finicky about technique). I have to give this win to penfold_61 because every time I read that clue I find myself grinning.
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Start every day with a smile and get it over with.