DIY COW Clue-Writing Contests

[anax]

Thank you Foggyweb for thrusting my disgustingness to the forefront.

On to this week's challenge, and there's something satisfying about writing a bad mofo clue around a celebrity name, so here we go. Daggers and biros out, please, for:

AMY WINEHOUSE

_________________
Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

[Boaz]

Hey wino, amuse this drunk crackhead (3,9)

HEY WINO AMUSE* (this (being) drunk)

[penfold_61]

Does she give you a semi when dancing? (3,9)

youasemiwhen*

[7dNigePun]

Me, you and she was in rehab (3,10)


(me you she was in)*

Oops, I forgot to be rude

[penfold_61]

A "fuck me" moan heard at home of singer (3,9)

A + MY! + sounds like whine + house

[penfold_61]

Emu, sow and hyena I swapped for a skinny tattooed cow (3,9)

emusowhyenai*

[Boaz]

Singer with no time to fuck Whitney up the ring in a Clio? (3,9)

with no time to fuck WHITNEY up = Y WINEH
the ring = O
a Clio? = A MUSE

AM(Y WINEH + O)USE

[anax]

A quick posting I'm afraid - just launching into a hectic weekend!

Many thanks for your submissions. Not that many entries but, in AMY WINEHOUSE, not that easy a set of letters to play with. I was torn between penfold's early offering:

Does she give you a semi when dancing? (3,9)
Really good semi-&lit. It was only the requirement that solvers be aware of the "semi" reference that forced me to nudge it downwards.

But worry ye not Mr Penfold as your second submission deserved to be a clear winner:

A "fuck me" moan heard at home of singer (3,9)
Excellent wordplay construction and convincing, funny-as-fk surface in perfect harmony. Picky point - the "at" doesn't really serve a valid cryptic purpose, although it's vital to the reading.

Nice one(s) Penfold. Over to you.
_________________
Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

[Boaz]

When Ms Boaz and I first moved in together, we went on the scrounge for bits of furniture. A friend offered to let us have a chest of drawers.

When I went round to pick it up, she had got us a bottle of wine. I believe that what happened next was unique in the course of human history, in that the funniest thing I have ever said was made up in time to be funny, and in front of witnesses.

"Helen," I said, "when you invited me round to look at your chest, I didn't expect you'd give me a semillon."

I have told that story, without fail, at every dinner party I have been to in the last 10 years.