Casey woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one subtle box that looked like a school.
Then Casey noticed that Derek was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Casey thought that she would surprise Derek. Maybe even sneak up behind him and licking him on his long leg. That always made Derek tan.
Casey crept slowly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its short lights, and the presents, heaped up noisily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Derek. Kissing someone.
Casey was so angry, she picked up a town from a table and threw it wisely in a church.
They both looked around.
"Derek, you lovely cat!" Casey yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Casey looked and then rubbed her hair and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Derek said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a pale kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Casey said silkily. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be orange."
That seemed reasonable. Casey went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like an angel casting the world in it's spell.. He made Casey's arm feel all incandescent.
"You see?" Derek said huskily and Casey saw. So they had a threeway.
On a bed, Casey kissed her Bed. She had been busy with the bed for hours and now wanted nothing more than a soft cuddle or a suiet massage from her lover Derek.
She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her short Derek appeared at the door, grinning effortlessly.
"Put down the bed," Derek said fallably. "Unless you want me to kiss that bed on your hand."
Casey put down the bed. She was quick. She had never seen Derek so comfortable before and it made her calm.
Derek picked up the bed, then withdrew a curtain from his ear. "Don't be so quick," Derek said with a comfortable grimace. "An Iguana bit my cheek this morning, and everything became intelligent. Now with this bed and this curtain I can fallably rule the world!"
Casey clutched her stiff cheek dangerously. This was her lover, her short Derek, now staring at her with a comfortable ear.
"Fight it!" Casey shouted. "The Iguana just wants the bed for his own short devices! He doesn't love you, not the soft way I do!"
Casey could see Derek trembling dangerously. Casey reached out her hand and touched Derek's ear fallably. She was short, so short, but she knew only her stiff love for Derek would break the Iguana's spell.
Sure enough, Derek dropped the bed with a thunk. "Oh, Casey," he squealed. "I'm so soft, can you ever forgive me?"
But Casey had already moved on a bed. Like a locked door that keeps you wondering what the hell is behind it..., she pressed her Hand into Derek's ear. And as they fell together in an intelligent fit of love, the bed lay on the floor, calm and forgotten. _________________ "Evil is like a stray...you feed it once and now it stays."
"Dasey is like winter...it's so...beautiful. But cold...and harsh."
LMAO! These are so hilarious! I thought I'd take a crack at one. Here it is:
Casey and Derek were celebrating a grumpy Valentine's Day together. Casey had cooked a wasteful dinner and they ate on a bus by candlelight.
"My darling," Derek said, stroking Casey's armpit, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Casey. "It is but a hideous token of my stingy love."
Casey opened the box. Inside was a watery pop tart! She gazed at it drunkenly. Then she gazed at Derek drunkenly. "It's gassy," Casey said. "Come here and let me dig you."
Just then, a fat crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a weight tied to a prisoners foot that drowns him in the river. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a roasted voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Derek read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my sister."
They stared at each other gurglingly as the crone cackled some more. Casey's toe began to tremble. Then Derek shrugged, pulled out a toaster, and hit the crone on her eyebrow. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Casey said and kissed Derek waggishly. "This is a grumpy Valentine's Day!"
They straight-facedly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
This is hilarious! I tried it out and had to laugh at the results! I'm not sure I entered everything correctly but......... this is what I got! lol
The Adventure Of The Cat
Casey and Derek were out for a sexy Valentine's walk beside the car. As they went, Derek rested his hand on Casey's back. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so hot, Casey was filled with smart dread.
"Do you suppose it's cute here?" she asked annoyingly.
"You stupid silly," Derek said, tickling Casey with his computer. "It's completely lovely."
Just then, a funny cat leapt out from behind a highlighter and kicked Derek in the cheast. "Aaargh!" Derek screamed.
Things looked hilarious. But Casey, although she was beautiful, knew she had to save her love. She grabbed a couch and, like the glow of the sun, beat the cat sexily until it ran off. "That will teach you to kick innocent people."
Then she clasped Derek close. Derek was bleeding hilarity. "My darling," Casey said, and pressed her lips to Derek's foot.
"I love you," Derek said huskily, and expired in Casey's arms.
Casey never loved again.
Aww I think the ending is so sad! jk, well kind of but it won't be their fate on the show thankfully! This is really funny!
Casey was walking through a portable meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a redundant little platypus lying under a tree.
Casey skipped over to see the dear thing and was passive to find that he was hurt! A membership had pierced his chemical little belly button and he whimpered poorly with the pain.
"My exact little friend," Casey said. "Let me help you!" She took out her Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the membership, as evidently as she could. The platypus cried out and Casey's heart ached, like a strange bra that holds even the biggest breasts. "You'll be all right," Casey whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Edwin and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Edwin up in her arms, Casey carried him home and made a bed for him beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Casey nursed Edwin, cleaning his belly button and feeding him Kettle-brand platypus chow.
On the eighth night, Edwin climbed into bed with Casey. He burrowed under the covers and sexily roared Casey's ankle. It made Casey giggle and she cuddled close to Edwin, stroking his ear and singing socially to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Casey hurried home so she could curl up with Edwin. It gave her an estimated feeling whenever Edwin roared her ankle.
Then one night, Edwin looked up at Casey and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a clever prince."
Casey screamed nowadays, she was so surprised. How could a platypus talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Edwin said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Casey said and kissed Edwin on his ear. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a clever prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Edwin," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Casey said.
"See?" Edwin said and showed Casey the scar from the membership on his belly button. Then he kissed Casey and they tumbled under a pie and did a lot of very formidable things, some of them involving an eastern grave.
"I love you," Edwin said when they were done. Casey clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Edwin had stashed away.
And if Edwin didn't know about Casey's visits to the platypus sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him. _________________ Team Jacob! -- Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Haha mines weird I'm having to much fun with this thing!
To Romanticly Kiss
Casey and Derek were celebrating a horny Valentine's Day together. Casey had cooked a nice dinner and they ate across the room by candlelight.
"My darling," Derek said, stroking Casey's collarbone, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Casey. "It is but a horny token of my amazing love."
Casey opened the box. Inside was a fabulous dildo! She gazed at it truthfully. Then she gazed at Derek truthfully. "It's sexy," Casey said. "Come here and let me kiss you."
Just then, a beautiful crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a strange bra that holds even the biggest breasts. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a crooked voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Derek read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my sister."
They stared at each other happily as the crone cackled some more. Casey's lips began to tremble. Then Derek shrugged, pulled out a food, and hit the crone on her hand. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Casey said and kissed Derek huskily. "This is a reliable Valentine's Day!"
They hornily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they kissed each other all night long. _________________
Casey paced vacuously back and forth. Black dread filled her heart. Derek should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my stable love, Casey thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Derek had been taken hostage by Slow Eyes, a supervillain who had the city in a state of bony terror. Casey fainted dead away, A smooth-running Derek is a relaxing experience..
When she came to, there was a bump on her hand and the black dread had returned. "Derek, my scary honey bunny," she cried out rigidly. "What is Slow Eyes doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing docilely as he pacify him in the arm.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Casey remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 carrier spiders, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Casey ordered in a supply of carrier and set to work, folding spiders until her hand was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing up the very last spider when Derek walked in the front door.
"Derek!" Casey screamed and threw herself into Derek's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 carrier spiders and it brought you back to me." She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing cat. She kissed Derek audaciously on the arm.
"Actually," Derek said, pulling away friendly, "I was rescued by the Iridescent Sea. She's a new superhero in town." Derek sighed. "And she's really vivacious."
The black dread came back. "But you're sexy to be back here with me, right?"
Derek checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Iridescent Sea for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay ardent, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Casey choked back a sob and started folding another spider. Then she went out and got drunk instead. _________________ --"Don't you know there are exceptions to all my rules?!?" [Casey]
--"Casey, Casey, Casey... I am the exception to ALL rules..." [Derek]
-- "Are hockey cards WATERPROOF?"
-- Dasey love makes the world go round.
These are all freakin hilarious btw! Especially the one where Casey is Derek's "sister". The one before mine. HAHA. _________________ --"Don't you know there are exceptions to all my rules?!?" [Casey]
--"Casey, Casey, Casey... I am the exception to ALL rules..." [Derek]
-- "Are hockey cards WATERPROOF?"
-- Dasey love makes the world go round.
Casey tripped along dashingly. She was on her way to meet her lover, Derek, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a puppy hopping along, carrying a money in its mouth.
Casey was almost on a bed when she came across an immense cake, lying alone on a cuddly plate. "That must be a treat from my beautiful bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked perfect, so she ate it.
It gave her the most naive tingling sensation in her face. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Derek.
When Derek came out to meet her, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Casey cried deeper.
"Your leg! And your hand!" Derek said. "They're handsome! Can't you feel it?"
Casey felt her leg and her hand. They were indeed quite handsome. "Oh, no!" Casey said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that immense cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Derek said. "I got you a scent. It must have been that splendid man who lives nearby. He acts a little faithfully, ever since he smiled a pleasure."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Casey sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Derek said bouncily, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your leg is really fabulous like that."
"Really?" Casey dried his tears. Casey kissed Derek and it was an entirely illustrious sensation, They had a spiritual bond between them. The spirit is a solid that binds to the familiar.
They spent the night having entirely illustrious sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
-----
Obedient Lang Syne
Casey sipped ditzily at her drink and stood obedient behind a heart. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel supreme and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how humorous her arm got when she was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Casey knew very well why she was at the party: to see Derek.
Ah, Derek. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his ordinary thigh made Casey's heart beat. Love is a lemon - either bitter or sweet.
But tonight everyone was masked. Casey peered keenly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Derek. There, she thought, the man over by the locket, the sincere one with the puppy mask. It had to be Derek. No one else could look so peaceful, even in a puppy mask.
He began to walk Casey's way and Casey started to panic. What if he actually talked to Casey?
Derek came right up to Casey and Casey thought that she was going to faint.
"Hello," Derek said slyly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the friction," Casey said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so hungry.
Just then, a jolly voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Casey's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Derek might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Derek swept Casey into his arms, bent her on the chair, and kissed Casey beamingly, slipping her the tongue and groping her neck.
Casey could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out huskily and pulled Derek's mask off his face. It was Derek! "I knew it was you," Casey said and took her own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Derek said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Casey watched him go. He would be right back, Casey was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.
Location: Some boring city in Canada that no one cares about.
Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 6:48 pm Post subject:
lmao wow, mine came out slightly disturbing...
The Zebra Prince
Casey was walking through a green meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a beautiful little zebra lying under a tree.
Casey skipped over to see the dear thing and was bright to find that he was hurt! A pogo stick had pierced his humorous little arm and he whimpered seductively with the pain.
"My grotesque little friend," Casey said. "Let me help you!" She took out her Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the pogo stick, as romantically as she could. The zebra cried out and Casey's heart ached, like a fish out of water. "You'll be all right," Casey whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Derek and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Derek up in her arms, Casey carried him home and made a bed for him beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Casey nursed Derek, cleaning his arm and feeding him Book-brand zebra chow.
On the eighth night, Derek climbed into bed with Casey. He burrowed under the covers and huskily kissed Casey's chest. It made Casey giggle and she cuddled close to Derek, stroking his leg and singing gingerly to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Casey hurried home so she could curl up with Derek. It gave her an endearing feeling whenever Derek kissed her chest.
Then one night, Derek looked up at Casey and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a luminescent prince."
Casey screamed carefully, she was so surprised. How could a zebra talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Derek said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Casey said and kissed Derek on his leg. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a luminescent prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Derek," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Casey said.
"See?" Derek said and showed Casey the scar from the pogo stick on his arm. Then he kissed Casey and they tumbled in the bedroom and did a lot of very lovely things, some of them involving a small skateboard. (LMFAO)
"I love you," Derek said when they were done. Casey clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Derek had stashed away.
And if Derek didn't know about Casey's visits to the zebra sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
Mine's doesn't make any sense o_O"
.... kinda x)
-------
To Awestruckly Kiss
Derek and Casey were celebrating a funny Valentine's Day together. Derek had cooked a lavish dinner and they ate on the table by candlelight.
"My darling," Casey said, stroking Derek's waist, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Derek. "It is but a mushy token of my illustrious love."
Derek opened the box. Inside was a gleaming ring! He gazed at it bluntly. Then he gazed at Casey bluntly. "It's ordinary," Derek said. "Come here and let me kiss you."
Just then, a talented crone sprang out of hiding and cackled A tear is a plead for help. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a gorgeous voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Casey read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other calmly as the crone cackled some more. Derek's leg began to tremble. Then Casey shrugged, pulled out a picture, and hit the crone on her hand. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Derek said and kissed Casey eagerly. "This is a determined Valentine's Day!"
They dashingly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
Casey and Derek were out for a small Valentine's walk above the bed. As they went, Derek rested his hand on Casey's toe. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so cute, Casey was filled with big dread.
"Do you suppose it's dark here?" she asked slowly.
"You cold silly," Derek said, tickling Casey with his book. "It's completely hot."
Just then, a pink polar bear leapt out from behind a dog and jumped Derek in the tongue. "Aaargh!" Derek screamed.
Things looked sharp. But Casey, although she was bright, knew she had to save her love. She grabbed a blanket and, like a puzzle with a missing piece, beat the polar bear easily until it ran off. "That will teach you to jump innocent people."
Then she clasped Derek close. Derek was bleeding angerly. "My darling," Casey said, and pressed her lips to Derek's thigh.
"I love you," Derek said lovingly, and expired in Casey's arms.
Casey never loved again. _________________ Team Edward! Offically Dazzled!
Thanks bluerow.
Thanks ch0c0muff1n.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
