Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 4:56 am Post subject: THE WORST LWD FANFICTION EVER CONTEST.
Hey girlettes, and uh, guyettes? I have just thought of a awesome way to take away the boring hiatus we will have until the next episode!
*DRUMROLL PLZZZ!*
A contest on making some of the worst Dasey ff's EVER!
Why this contest? For some major LOLLLLZZZZ. Duhhzz homie G.
:'D
If your in, just post your one shot here! Make sure its not on FF.net, because we dont want mass attention on a BAD story when a GOOD story needs it, does that make sense? :3
There a few ruless, but bare with mehh.
1. It has to be a Oneshot. And atleast 600 words. (How hard can 600 words be when writing suckage? lol)
2. Post only here on Dasey Nation. Pleaseee. Like said above, keep the badfic in one areass. xD
3. Have fun writing suckficcz! :'D I wish you all great luck!
The due date is on August 18th!
Example: "So derek had 2 go 2 bed, and he see kacey. she looked prety with her brown hair.
and sexy at the sam timez.
he stared hut with a smurff and licked his pink lips, he eyes wer so blue today, and damn, when did cacey get hott?."
The Day The World Went Topsy Turviee.
--------------------------
"Deeeeeeeeeerick." Cassie screamed as she pouted storming down the stairs, clad only in her bra and a pair of shorts. Her brand new shirt in clutched tightly in her right hand.
"Whoa, Klutzillia, watch where you move. We don't want another earthquake. Knowing you, you could bring down the Golden Gates." Derrick snorted from his recliner as a blonde babe sucked on his neck.
"Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeerick! You know we live in Canada, the Golden Gate Bridge is in America." Cassie stated matter-of-factly.
"My bad, mussolini." He said in between kisses with his blonde lady folk. "I mean I know the writers make pretty obvious statements during the twenty six minutes we are on air, inculding such lines as 'WE LIVE IN CANADA.' Alas, some people still believe we live in America so Lets roll with it."
"Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerick!!!!" Casey whined stoping her foot, she then walked over infron of his recliner. "You know that this was my new shirt and you PUT IT IN MY SOCK DRAWER! You KNOW my shirts go in my shirt drawer." She crossted her arms, pushing her cleavage together.
"My god, Cassie. You have boobs?" Derrick noticed, shocked.
"Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerick!!! Duhh? I mean we had that hot closet sex before the wedding, ya know before we knew we were step siblings." Casey smacked gum in her teeth noisely. Yes folks, in Canada gum appears out of nowhere and it is delicious.
"Sorry, I mean just because I secretly wore your shirt under my hockey jersey for good luck at the last game then put it in the wrong drawer, does not give you the right to come down here while I am cheating on Sally with Whats-her-face."
"Actually my name is Tanya."
"Shhh, the grown ups are talking." Derrick declared belittling the Senior who was drapped over him.
"What, bu-"
"Girls, sould be seen and not heard." Derrick concluded. "Now be a good little booty call and go make me a sandwich." He said slapping her ass the get the message across.
"But, I-"
"Don't make get the muzzle." Derrick growled. Tanya pouted before leaving the two step siblings.
"Deeeeeeeeeeeeerrick." Casey continued to stop her foot, while Derrick oogled her goodies bouncing. "I can not belive you are cheating on Sally." Casey then thought for a moment.."Actually, yes, yes I can. God she is such a spoiled slut."
"I know, but god can she put alot in her mouth."
"Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerick. Well, so can I." Cassie stated popping a hip, throwing the shirt onto the couch where Nora, George, Lizzie, Edwin, Marti, Sam, Sally, Kendra, Emily, Noel, Amanda, Sheldon, Ralph and Aunt Mage all sat gapping at the two.
"Good, god where did you all come from?" Derrick said suddenly.
"Deeeeeeeeeeerick. Let's go do it." Casey suggested pulling at his arm.
That my friend was when the world turned topsy turrvie. Yes Sam and Ralph did adopt several babies and raised a tiny farm in south Kansas, where on many occasions Sam dreamed he was toto and Ralph was Dorthy. Along with that dream he discovered his real passion: beastality. He soon left Ralph and now resides in West Manchester with a Cockapoo named 'Mr. Dimples.'
I hope you all learned a lesson from this story. I sure did: Life with Derek needs Dasey and Sally should be maimed by a large sea creature, perferably a Capricorn...they are the goat of the sea!
---------------------- Fin -----------------------
Uhm.... Yeah...:/ Its 2am...thats all I can say. *shrugs*
Peace&&Love,
Anna [ Infidi ] _________________ ♥Anna-Katherine♥
"You know that this was my new shirt and you PUT IT IN MY SOCK DRAWER! You KNOW my shirts go in my shirt drawer." She crossted her arms, pushing her cleavage together.
That is SUCH a Casey thing to say! Rofl, and crossted? Friggin amazingg.
"Shhh, the grown ups are talking." Derrick declared belittling the Senior who was drapped over him.
"What, bu-"
"Girls, sould be seen and not heard." Derrick concluded.
HAHAHHAHA. Im sorry, I love that part sosososo much. Oh Derrick. I love you. <3 _________________ Youtube. Dasey Online. Bitch&jerk
My entry!!!! This piece of literature can't decide if it's a spoof/parody, or a horribly written fanfiction. You decide!!!
Written in about 10 seconds.
I'll probably write another one.... because they're kinda fun to write
casey was looking through a textbook cuz she was smart youknow anywyas so she was looking threw a texbook sinse she wuz bored and then DErek stormed in he plopped down on her comp. chair and through her textbook aside.
"I need to talk 2 you", he said. casey rolled her eyes amd got off her bed and opened the door and looked over at derek "Get out NOW.
"Whoa, chilz, all i wanted was a stpaler" Derek said "i'mma actually do some homework since i want to get into university."
"wow your gonna do homework? that is soooooooooo unlike you, yo." Then Casey put on a big baggy tee shirt and a backwards hat and started doing that "Yo yo yo" hand movements like those gangstazzzzz.
"and how are yo getting into University? That takes loadsa skillzz," she added.
"What? It's fanfiction, dudette. Some fanficateers don't know Canada has Colleges AND Universities of different levelzzz of smartnessss so I'mma deciding to go to university sinze i'm suuuuu smart!111one one!!"
"Yo yo that makes sense yo yo yo."
"Okay." they stared at each other, sorta how a seagull would stare at a french fry in a McDonald's parking lot, and then Casey jumped Derek and straddled him on her comp chair and shtuff.
"Wowza this is sorta hawt yo," Derek murmered. Casey socked him in the groin.
"I'MMA ZE ONLY GANGSTER! SO I ONLY SAY YO, yo," she said. Then she kizzed him all sexily and shoved her tongue down his throat and started licking his face.
"mmmm oh yeah casey oh yes," derek said. He picked her up and carried her downstairs and plopped her on the couch cuz he wanted to do it infront of his family with casey to prove they were a couple now and he really just wanted to do that do that do that do that yo.
just before zey got nak3d casey stopped and said "wait yo i'mma think this is a bad idea."
"What? Screw it?" derek yelled. casey shoved derel off of her and stuff.
"We can't! You're still dating Sally and I need to hook up with Noel before I hook up with you so that all the Nasey shippers will have their fix before I sex you up!!!"!!"!
"noooooooooooooooooo," derek yelled and ran up to the roof and dropped down to his knees and rain started pouring down on him dramatically.
"i'm sorry yo's," casey whispered. she snapped her fingers, did the peace sign and went to her room.
Derek was about to commit suicide by shoving a fork into a toaster when casye came runnin' down the stairs in a towel, because it's perfectly normal for her to be running around in a towel. Actually, it's not, i, the author, decided to make her run in a towel so my story would be extra sexeh.
"derek, i'mma sooooo sorry i change my mind i want you to have my babies omg derek just take me."
So he did. On the kitchen floor. And they lived happily ever after. Ze end?
"wait" derek exclamened "dis story is not 600 words. we're about 100 words short."
"omg then the author should put a big azz author's comment to make up for it?"
ok" derek said and then he did casey again and then in the car and in the bathtub and everwhere.
insert big azz author's comment here to make up for the lack of 600 words
Hhahaha, I love it! I hope make more, this is just plain awesome. Badfic FTW!!
"wait" derek exclamened "dis story is not 600 words. we're about 100 words short."
"omg then the author should put a big azz author's comment to make up for it?"
ok" derek said and then he did casey again and then in the car and in the bathtub and everwhere.
ROFL. That made me spit out my cereal because I was laughing so HARD.
Derek was about to commit suicide by shoving a fork into a toaster when casye came runnin' down the stairs in a towel, because it's perfectly normal for her to be running around in a towel. Actually, it's not, i, the author, decided to make her run in a towel so my story would be extra sexeh.
OMG. This is so true! All suckage has this scene, srsly. And the she trips magically or something, friggin amazing.
Some fanficateers don't know Canada has Colleges AND Universities of different levelzzz of smartnessss
I thought Canada used "University" as a catch-all term, like we do with "college" even though you could be going to any type of post-HS school. Wrong?
Anyway, awesomely bad writing!
Well, after High School, if you have a high GPA and are in academic classes, you can apply to University. If you have a lower GPA and are in applied classes, you can apply to College, then after College you can go to Uni if you want... or something like that.
I'm not sure how the United State's works, but my Sister said you guys' didn't work like that...?
So I just said that since, in some fanfictions, Derek goes to University, when, in reality, someone with his grades wouldn't. At least not right after High School.
Anyways, I blathered on too long (Whoo! I used "blather"!!) and thanks! I do try my hardest for ultimate suckage
"Der-ek!" Casey screamed from her bedroom and derek rushed in.
"What!?" He complained from the doorway. "I was watching hockey."
"I don't care." Casey whined. "I see you've been reading my diary." She glared with her arms folded.
"I didn't read it." He walked over to her and looked at the open diary. "Dear Diary, today Derek wore the hot-" He read aloud as Casey shut the book.
"Don't read my personal thoughts." She snapped.
"No, problem. Since you don't have thoughts." He chuckled.
"Derek, you-" Casey was cut off by Lizzie and Edwin entering the room.
"Casey, I have boy troubles." Lizzie squealed.
"Der, this chick is giving me the freeze out." Edwin chimed in.
"Derek, we have to come together to solve these problems." Casey demanded.
"Sure, this is how I come together." He grabbed Casey, threw her on the bed and began making out with her."
Casey pushed him off. "There really is unresolved sexual tension between us." Casey called out. Just then George and Nora walked in.
"What is goning on here?" George asked looking at Lizzie and Edwin who were staring in shock. "Derek, you are grounded." George said sternly as he turned to leave.
"We will talk about this later." Nora walked off looking upset.
"EWWWW! Kissing!" Marti screamed as she walked pass the room.
Derek looked at Casey who was grinning stupidly. "Don't get all mushy on me, MCDonald."
"Shut up, Venturi" She pulled his collar down so their faces would be pushed together.
"You're kinda hot..." Edwin said to Lizzie.
THE END!!!! _________________ "Derek, what did YOU do to the children?!"
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