DIY COW Clue-Writing Contests

[anax]

Huge thanks to AngryVocab for giving me top spot for #006. SEA MONSTER, despite having a selection of very common letters, still proved to be a real challenge - I think it's fair to say that for all entrants it was just a relief to find something beyond what would otherwise be a selection of jolly decent tasteful Times clues.

OK, on to #007 and we have to go for the appropriate:

SECRET AGENT

Yes, I know we had Austin Powers a while back, but he wouldn't be 007 anyway.
Get rude, compadres.

INCIDENTALLY: A note about Clues in Blue. The name is just supposed to be catchy. The best word to describe what we're looking for is simply "distasteful" - the kind of thing you'd either never see in The Times or, if you did, you might put a "shocked" smiley in a blog post. Or threaten the Times ed with burning at the stake.
_________________
Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

[penfold_61]

Quickly out of the blocks...

Undercover operative gets an erect cock up (6,5)

GETS AN ERECT*

[penfold_61]

Perhaps Dangermouse set green cat on fire (6,5)

SET GREEN CAT*

My sidekick Dangermouse is "The world's greatest secret agent".


Hopefully this qualifies as distasteful.

[glheard]

Say, Bond, she's curved to angles - not oddly. (6,5)

ShEsCuRvEdToAnGlEsNoT
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That's the way the ginger snaps.

[AngryVocab]

Some terrific clues already... but hey-ho:

Premature ejaculator - a man who'd prefer to remain anonymous! (6, 5)

SECRETor + A GENT

[penfold_61]

Perhaps Miss Moneypenny drops her frilly bottoms to get man, a man like James Bond (6,5)

SECRETARY - RY (heR frillY) + GENT

[glheard]

Not that blue, but for some reason it ticked me...

I spy an intimate orange, perhaps?

SECRET(=intimate)+AGENT(orange)
_________________
That's the way the ginger snaps.

[boxwood]

Smiley American leaves cream teas being stirred with nob (6,5)

CRE(AM) TEAS* + GENT = NOB

[7dNigePun]

Bond broken in teenagers c**t (6,5)

[anax]

Well done Boxwood! I rather liked this one:

Smiley American leaves cream teas being stirred with nob (6,5)

The construction is carefully considered and the end result is a satisfyingly humorous image.

There were comparatively few offerings for this one and, in fairness, SECRET AGENT looks more promising than it actually is. Penfold came very close with:

Perhaps Miss Moneypenny drops her frilly bottoms to get man, a man like James Bond (6,5)
I loved the imagery here and only "demoted" it to second place on the strength of Boxwood's original and deceptive choice of "Smiley" for the def.

OK then, Mr B - let's have another challenge.
_________________
Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

[boxwood]

Thank you, Anax.

Good luck with:

MOTHER-IN-LAW