DIY COW Clue-Writing Contests

Bloke holding a Cockney's arse is not going back to her! (5,6)

P(ARIS=arse)HIL + (NOT<=)

Flourish bolo wildly at start of mastectomy

(bolo)*+m

She's the harlot I spin around in internet sex-video (5,6)

(HARLOTISPIN)*

He fucked an entire city when he screwed, hit on, and left her?

PARIS (qV Troy) + (HITON + L)*

Shitty 'La Porn' is hit in French hotel (5,6)

(LAPORNISHIT)*

Return low, black dress left in fountain (5)

L in (MOO + B)<=
[dress as a containment indicator]

The boldest of this weeks' vintages, in third place, goes to:

foggyweb
Plonk your cock in this!
I couldn't help but expectorate after reading this offering: but then I realised it could just as w ...

Brash ref begins to urge opponents up and into scrum (12)

PRES(UMP + T U O U)S

Put rum spouse out too far? (12)

(putrumspouse)*
too far, as in: execessively forward

Many thanks, Anax, for the laurel. Indeed, very unexpected :)

I drew a complete blank when it came to this weeks' 'Big Brother', and am equally lacking inspiraton for creating a challenge. So, tu ...

Crafty promiscuous woman has one for a reason, I hear (8)

SLAPPER with I for A + Y

No one here would comment on that. They'd be too busy wondering how you could expect to get away with using 'lumpy' as an anagrind...

But not me. No, sir! :)

It makes you feel better to confuse than to mishear (1,4,2,3,3)

(THANTOMISHEAR)*

Excelled in fighting force: limbs amputated following this? (1,4,2,3,3)

wAS HOT IN THE ARMy

Shameless dames hope sex acts are on display (7)

(DAMES HOPE SEX - shame)*

Single shot in no-nonsense drink - a lever to make one feel better? (1,4,2,3,3)

SHOT in AbsINTHE + ARM

Congratulations Boaz! And not just for the victories, but also for this clue-phrase which lends itself to so many variations. I predict it'll take something very special to take the pips this week. ...

The middle of thin church holding encyclopedia lacking knowledge of adultery, for example

wINNOw C(ENC)E

In no way would I hear of anything like Clues in Blue!

IN + NO + (sense/CENCE)

Player Leon returns a pussy (4,6)

Another JAM<= + ORCA:

Nadal's home to press against return of large killer (7)

Rafa's birthplace

You couldn't possibly list Elba as a place to incarcerate Napoleon (8)

(listElba)* [& The Bastille pre-dated Nap I]

Humps ten in fucked-up penance (10)

(humps ten in)*

Graduates the Spanish got drunk on return to French castle

BAS + (EL + LIT = 'got drunk') <=

What to do with naughty boys? Time for S&M, perhaps (10)

PUNISH MEN + T

To raise one point over another, Athenian reformer needs to start with a cool head (5)

SOLON (with C replacing S)

Even schoolgoing can create a division.

sChOoLgOiNg

Apologies in advance for this:

It's firm, long, short and ends near the bottom.

CO+LONg

Not a vast number to pick from, but, Implements forcibly (6,3,5) is a terrific clue.

Well done and over to you, Boxwood.

Thank you kindly Boxwood.

Next phrase:

HAMMER AND TONGS

Pretty girls have a right time when most interested in sex (8)

HO(R)NIES+T

What to say before entering tiny hearse in order to hide corpse?

BODY in (tinyhearse)*

A question to ask of the morgue, perhaps?

Employment Elle ends over kinky sex (including brief rectal cranial inversion)

El( RCI in SEX* )lE

Dark hours spent with Dafne or perhaps Carmen

Discharge the Queen found internally when organ removed briefly (8)

discharge = def (to fulfill the terms or duties of)
EX(ER)CISEd

Typhoon begins high up, rotating round inverted cold air - not Easterly (9)

(Initial letters)

Hawker using Merlin's power whips up a storm

(The Hawker Hurricane was powered by the Rolls Royce 'Merlin' engine)

Possibly the price I pay when I let horn get screwed and sucked into big mouth (6-2-3)

M(ILETHORN)*AW

They can drift pointlessly or sail (5)

(THeYCAn)*

Craft of yours earlier returned on current

"of yours earlier" = THY

Just noticed that in my 'initial letter' offering above I had erroneously put in 'Roster' rather than 'Rooster'. Corrected now for what it is worth.

Rooster's peak cry over morning's blue beginnings

Search a noncombatant for card (4)

hidden nonCOMBatant + card = comb (and coincidently search = comb)

Some terrific clues already... but hey-ho:

Premature ejaculator - a man who'd prefer to remain anonymous! (6, 5)

SECRETor + A GENT

It's been a week and 'sea monster' has managed to garner the fewest responses of any Clue in Blue so far. Given the inclusion of 6 of the 8 most frequently used letters in the English language I had ...

About one fish being returned to ancient sea and joining up with another (8)

MAR(R(I)AG)E
GAR<=, MARE = (Latin) sea

Miss the main point when spreading margarine over a contract (8)

"main point" = N

In a similar vein:

A blissful union of sorts; a mirage, right? (8)

Prize for third in the '78 World Cup is marvelled about (6,5)

(ismarvelled)*
[That's the football World Cup. Apparently a Silver medal was also given in 1974.]

An award for making reflective iron, for example, utilising deuterium via tritium decay

making reflective = SILVER + iron, for example METAL +D -T

Thank you for the vote George! And welcome all to the next instalment of Clues in Blue. I hope there's plenty of scope to play with:

SEA MONSTER

All forms of perversity and profanity positivel ...

Left following Elvis' dream? Out for a second.

[Doubt this simpleton one needs explaining (ELVISDREAM)*+L]

Not good in the arse - or thereabouts - English box

NG in RECTAL "the arse - or thereabouts" + E

The dead home of the soul teaches pains are missing.

IN + ANIMA + TE(-aches)

A squeal about relatively large spectacular

A + S (TON-ISH)ING
{squeal as to betray}

[quote="penfold_61"]It's hard to believe a near-fourteen pounder is got by angling where there's no front (11)

Would "... by topless angling" [down clued] need to go into the Bl ...

Incredible spy's car can bend the front end

ASTON + IS HINGed

In that case:

Difficult book about the French exchange wildly dropping a point (11)

T(LE,BOURSe)*OME

Come: on Petunia! Another way to start a fairytale? (4,4,1,4)